A quick little negative thought: I've started to feel invisible again. I haven't felt invisible for a long time but I've started thinking that I'm fading into the background, it might be because I feel like I'm talking to a brick wall a lot of the time because I'm more interested in things that other people simply are not. It serves me right, I brought it on myself, I'm just not up to date with anything popular anymore. I have become an old woman, but I don't like to think about things like that. I'm getting better though, I've started being able to push negative thoughts away when I feel them coming out and I have become more positive than I used to be. Anyway, negative thoughts out of the way...
The other day, I saw somebody I used to fancy and I reacted rather blankly, almost not noticing him. I was really happy about that, because I always tend to struggle getting over crushes, I certainly don't see me getting over my current crush any time soon.
I think musicals have become a really major part of my life. Like love which "slips into your thoughts and infiltrates your soul", musicals succeed in taking over your life. I find a lot of them to be very meaningful, I can relate to some of the lyrics, I can relate to some of the characters and I just feel that they give me some kind of an escape from life. They give me something to think about, maybe that's why I'm more positive, I don't focus on my own problems. But let's face it, they have opened a whole big can of worms. All musicals have some aspect of love (lol) in them and it certainly makes one a tad lonely because you want life to be a musical, you want some handsome prince to come and sweep you off your feet. Or maybe you want some mysterious musical genius to take an interest in you, however healthy or not that interest may be, perhaps teach you to sing, threaten to kill your fiancee, lure you to America to hear you sing, etc etc. But let's face it, life doesn't work like that does it? Musicals are always so much more interesting than reality and the people are always better yet realisation that it isn't true still always hurts.
I think that Erik (The Phantom of The Opera) is one of the most romantic people ever. He did everything to help Christine to succeed. Having someone sing The Music Of The Night to you would probably make you weak at the knees and if ever someone proposes to me (haha, I make myself laugh) I want them to propose the way he proposed to Christine - "Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime. Lead me, save me, from my solitude. Say you'll want me with you here beside you. Anywhere you go let me go too, Christine, that's all I ask of you" in All I Ask Of You (Reprise (reprise)) after The Point of No Return in The Phantom of The Opera.
Another one of the greatest characters in a musical is Enjolras. He isn't romantic in the slightest, in fact in the book it said that "he seemed to be unaware of the existence of a creature called woman", but who cares? Everyone loves a challenge. Actually, he may have been a better character in the book, so much more passionate. The Phantom may be better in the book too, but I've not read that (I still haven't finished Les Mis, I should really get back to that). When he tells the people to "tie this man and take him to that tavern in there, [because] the people will decide your fate Inspector Javert", he doesn't have quite the same reaction in the book. In fact, he ties him up and tells him that he would be shot two minutes before the barricade fell, all because he didn't want to waste bullets, he was great.
I could go on about that book, especially Enjolras' and Grantaire's death, Marius first seeing Cosette, and of course Eponine's death, but if I don't stop myself now, I'll be at it all night, so I'm stopping and that marks the end of this blog post.
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